President George W. Bush attacked “greedy trial lawyers” again Saturday, explaining that frivilous lawsuits caused millions of Americans not to have ready access to Krispy Kreme and other brands of doughnuts.
Speaking at the 114th annual National Association of Doughnut Manufacturers and Retailers Convention in Sweetwater, Texas, the President explained that 7398 counties in America did not have a Krispy Kreme store. “The only possible explanation for this travesty is stupid lawsuits against the sellers of these wonderful doughnuts. We must get greedy trial lawyers out of the kitchens making up this important industry.”
When asked to identify a single lawsuit against a doughnut manufacturer or retailer, the President wiped some jelly off the corner of his mouth and explained that he was sure that read about some of these lawsuits “on the editorial page of the Wall Street Journal. Or maybe Sports Illustrated.” But, he said, “it makes no difference whether there are any lawsuits yet or not. You and I both know that they are coming. By the way, pass me one of those with the peanut crumbles on it, will ya?”